


Where's Bellamy?

by Clarke_kom_eden



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Related, Confessions, F/M, Reunions, Season/Series 05, Seperations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarke_kom_eden/pseuds/Clarke_kom_eden
Summary: A drabble prompt from Tumblr. Set in the late half of season 5.Clarke leaves polis with Madi and reconnects with Raven, but Raven is upset at Clarke's decision to leave Bellamy behind, knowing how upset he'll be, and shares a few home truths with her.





	Where's Bellamy?

Raven was still unsure of the plan. Despite their, rocky, start, Diyoza seemed more reasonable than Raven had first thought. Shaw had agreed to help her. He hid the drive that Echo had given them and ‘accidentally’ let Echo escape when they had returned to Polis to pick up more deserters. But Raven was having second thoughts about going through with it. Diyoza was beginning to trust her, seeking her advice, if she betrayed her now, it would ruin any chance they might have to negotiate. 

The ship arrived back at Shallow Valley after another trip to Polis, and as Raven helped to get the new people settled, she looked out across the crowd to see a face she recognised. A face that just days ago she had thought was lost forever.  
'Clarke?’ She managed to choke out through sudden tears, as she took in the sight of her. Clarke strode quickly up to her and hugged her tightly. Ever since Raven had heard Clarke's voice over the radio, it had felt like a dream, or perhaps a trick. But here she was, holding her, seeing her with her own eyes. But what was she doing leaving the bunker camp?  
'Clarke, why are you here? What about Octavia?’ Clarke explained quickly about Madi. Echo had mentioned something to her about a child, but there hadn't exactly been much time for catching up.  
'It's not safe for Madi. I had to leave.’ Raven looked over at the pretty, wild eyed girl standing just behind them, who gave her a small wave. 'I’ve told her all about you, about how many times you saved my life.’ Clarke smiled. Raven looked at her sincerely.  
'Not as many times as you've saved mine.’  
Raven was thankful for the chance to say it, and was so happy to know that Clarke had not been completely alone for 6 years. The guilt of leaving her behind still burned deeply. Then Raven took another look around, expecting to see someone else.  
‘Where's Bellamy?’ She asked. Clarke's face fell a little, and she shook her head slightly.  
'It's just us.’  
‘Is he ok? I can't believe he'd let you leave..’ Raven trailed off, confused. She knew that after everything, there was no way Bellamy would willing let Clarke out of his sight again.  
‘We didn't tell him.’  
‘What!? Clarke, how the hell could you do that to him! When he finds out you're gone…’ But Clarke cut her off.  
‘I had to get Madi out. There was no time, and if Octavia thought Bellamy was involved… I couldn't put him in danger.’ Raven wasn't buying it.  
‘Clarke, come on. You know he’d have wanted to know, he'd want to help you.’ Clarke stiffened a little. She knew Raven was right, but she’d had her reasons.  
‘He has his own problems to deal with. He doesn't need me anymore. Besides, he has Echo.’ Raven frowned in response.  
‘Is that what this is about?! So he connected with someone. So he tried to feel something to help him get by up there. You can't punish him for that.’ Clarke was shocked by Raven's anger.  
'I wasn't trying to.’  
‘You weren't there, Clarke. He thought you were dead. You didn't console him the nights he would wake up screaming your name, or hold him when the guilt became almost too much to bare. All he wanted was to lead us the way you would want him too. Every day he lived in your memory. Don't brush that off like it's nothing.’  
‘It's not. I, I didn't know.’ Clarke paused, trying to absorb what Raven was saying, the weight of her choice to leave only now sinking in. ‘I'm sorry.’  
‘Just because we managed to get by without you, doesn't mean we weren't devastated everyday. To get you back now, for you to just leave, again.’ She sighed, ‘I know I'd feel crushed, and i wasn't in love with you.’  
Clarkes heart skipped a beat. She took such a hard sharp intake of breath that it almost choked her. Had he loved her? Had he told Raven this?  
She tried to shake the thought away, it wasn't the time, but her heart filled with guilt now at leaving him. She had told herself it was the right thing to do. That she was protecting him, but truthfully, she knew she had purposely distanced herself from him. It was pathetic, and she was angry at herself for it, but she had built up their reunion in her head for 6 years. It hadn't occurred to her that he might have moved on.  
Until now, Clarke had not understood how difficult the last six years had been for her friends in space, she had been too preoccupied with her own hurt. But there was nothing that could be done now. She and Diyoza had made a deal. Apparently Abby had greatly exaggerated Clarke’s medical skills, and Diyoza saw her as an asset.  
‘It's too late now, Raven. I already made a deal with the devil. I can't go back. And I wouldn't. It's not safe for Madi. You have to understand.’  
'I do, Clarke. But so would've Bellamy. No matter how much time has passed. You're our Clarke.' At this, Raven walked away, leaving Clarke to her thoughts, and as she did, a pit of sadness weighed down in her stomach. She knew that soon, Bellamy would discover that Clarke was gone, and this time, there was nothing she could do to help him.


End file.
